Twenty Years and Counting

Friday was 20 years since Zack and I went on our first date. 

20 years since we sat in a restaurant overlooking Atlanta, and talked about our backgrounds and our futures. 

20 years since we saw the movie Dangerous Minds.

20 years since we first held hands.

20 years since I got back to my dorm room and told my friends that I knew who I was going to marry.

We've lived through a lot together in twenty years! Of course not every day has been easy. But the hard times pale in comparison to the seasons of fun and laughter, adventure and unknowns, excitement and opportunity. It's been crazy, and it's been great!

I love getting to spend each and every day with my best friend.

As we walked through our city Friday night, I looked around and once again tried to take in the fact that we're living on the other side of the world, speaking another language (or at least trying to!), the parents of two pretty rockin' kids, with friends and family from one side of globe to the other...

... and then I looked at Zack and said, "could you have imagined all of this twenty years ago?"

They say time flies when you're having fun. And I believe it's true.

Here's to twenty more... and twenty more after that!

Five Years of Forever Family

Five years.

In some ways the time has flown. There are moments when I feel like it has not been that long at all. And yet, there are also moments when it seems like Daniel has always been around.

Five years ago today, very early on a Saturday morning, we drove one last time to Solnetchko detsky dom. We changed our tiny little man's clothes and said our good-byes. And 25 minutes later, we hopped in the van with our facilitator and her husband for the drive from Mariupol to Kyiv.

That's a long drive in and of itself. But add in a very anxious and rambunctious child who had likely never been in a car for more than 30 minutes, and you can maybe begin to imagine the "fun" we had.

I add this next photo, knowing it is extremely blurry. But it was also a good image to represent that first day: a complete blur, with some of us forcing smiles and others showing our true feelings. Beauty all around us (the sunflowers were amazing). Success in that we were now holding our newest son in our arms. And yet, what you can't see lying behind the cameraman was one of the nastiest black clouds I have ever seen in my life. Seriously, a fitting metaphor. For the day we were maneuvering, for the night that awaited us in Kyiv, and for some of the days ahead.

We endured the drive. It was long and exhausting. We got the boys back to the apartment in Kyiv and bathed them. Surely they would sleep well after such a tiring day. Right?

Right?

This was one of the many phases of that 9 hour
car ride: putting playing cards between your
toes & putting your feet on the window.

Nice thought anyway. William did crash quickly. Daniel did not. Everything was new and exciting and he did not want to miss a minute of it. Including running constantly, throwing things, eating anything in sight, and trying to stick his hands in the one oscillating fan we had (it was summer and it was HOT!). Zack slept with William and I took our new little man with me. I finally got him settled and he slept for probably 6 or 7 hours.

First night as a family of four

We made it through that first day and first night. Thanks to love. And through a long flight across the ocean with a little man breaking out in chicken pox. We made it through some rough first days and weeks. We made it through chicken pox, his first broken bone, six schools, moving to Canada, and then moving to Norway. Thanks to love.

Gotcha Day 2011 - one year home

Five years later. That first day still stands out vividly in my mind. Removing his clothes and giving him clothes that were just for him. Calling him by his new name. Attempting to calm him and console him as he physically rebelled against anything and everything that came his way. Watching the joy (and maybe a bit of apprehension!) of a big brother who finally had his little buddy with him.

Gotcha Day 2012 - two years home

God was good to us when he allowed us to bring each of our boys into our family. He was good to us when he walked us through every difficult step of their adoptions. He was good to us when things just seemed to fall into place. He was good to us when things seemed impossible. He was good to us in the good and the tough times. And He continues to be good to us, in all things. *Good does not mean easy. But knowing that He is with us and that we are never alone: that is a very good place to be.*

Gotcha Day 2013 - three years home

If you ever watch an adoption story unfold, you will see that it is really a redemption story. I don't say this as a way to pat ourselves on the back, but simply as truth. Watching hope come into someone's life is a beautiful thing. We saw it with our boys. We've seen it with the children of many friends who have adopted. Watching what love can do is exciting. And watching what love can endure is encouraging.

Gotcha Day 2014 - four years home

I'm thankful for the way that God built our family. It may not be traditional. And at times it is far from pretty. But it is always beautiful. Because it's about love. And despite the obstacles and the difficulties, love wins.

Happy Gotcha Day to our loving, joyful, energetic Daniel!

One of my all-time favorite photos of Daniel, from 2011

1 Corinthians 13:7-10

(taken from The Message)

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere.

So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “me first,”

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

17 Years

Yesterday marked 17 years since we first said I do. Looking back, I can't help but wonder. What did those two naive 22-year-olds think life would be like? What would we have done if someone would have come up to us and told us all that was in store?

Yes, we were young and naive. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing. We were holding on to that classic American 'anything is possible' spirit. And I think that's a pretty good thing in fact! It takes a bit of that and a whole lot more to face trials and challenges. 

(And I'll admit that so far, our challenges have not been near as tough as many couples face!)

I could say that love conquers all. And we do have an incredibly strong love for each other, and for the Lord. But there is also respect, commitment, honesty, lots of laughter, true teamwork, and a promise that we're in this for the long haul.

I am grateful that our good times far outweigh the tough times. We haven't handled everything perfectly and we've both made our share of mistakes. But God has taken difficulties and challenges and made something beautiful. And the beauty of our years together far outweighs any brief not as glamorous moments.

Happy Anniversary to my partner in crime, the peanut butter to my jelly, the one who can finish any movie line I start, who tolerates my nuances and encourages my dreams. The one who laughs uncontrollably at my typos, serves as my food critic, motivates me to get in shape, and then sits down with me for the occasional eat-the-cake-right-out-of-the-box night. Although we didn't meet in a chat room, I'll still love you always and forever. Here's to 17 more. And 17 more after that. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to sweet friends and cousins visiting from the states this week, we got to have a date night last night. What's even better was having a date night in Oslo, our first night out in the capital city without kiddos since moving here.

Our celebration included a long walk, incredible Indian food, coffee at our favorite cafe, and dessert on Karl Johan's Gate with some great people watching.

I dag feirer vi to år i Norge!

Two years ago today, we landed in Oslo. In some ways it is hard to believe it has already been two years. And in some ways it feels much longer.

Norway is very much home to us, probably as much home as any place has felt like home. As I've mentioned before, the idea of home changes once you make a big move. But we feel settled here. When we travel and talk about being ready to get back home, it is Sandefjord we are speaking of.

We've had a really good day. Like last year, this year's anniversary included langrenn/cross country skiing (minus me - I'll have to wait until next year to get back on skis!). We also met with a couple of different groups that we are a part of here in Sandefjord. So it was lots of time with friends, and a good bit of time out in the winter weather. That was especially good for me, to be outside and getting a little fresh air.

We continue to be grateful for the opportunity to live and work here. It is not always easy, but that is true regardless of what your address is! So we continue to look for opportunities to learn and opportunities to grow, whether that be in language skills, cultural knowledge, relationships, and the work we are doing. We look forward to what this next year has in store here!

Sweet Sixteen #happyanniversary

Sixteen years ago, I vowed to stand by his side, no matter what. What a ride is has been so far! I thank God for allowing me to wake up next to this man each morning. 

Happy anniversary to my best friend! What we have is what that lady in Hawaii would call "very rare," ;)